Dr Ng Wai Sheng

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Loving Amiss: The Confusion of Anger

Loving Amiss: The Confusion of Anger

Anger is normal. We feel angry when we feel wronged or harmed by others, or witness others being harmed or unjustly treated. Anger typically triggers fear and helplessness, in those who experience it and to those who witness it. Hence, people turn on fight or flight mode, to defend against anger, until they can no longer hold back and it explodes! Whilst anger can really hurt, it is often a secondary emotion. What underlies anger is usually fear. And the true antidote for fear is love.

Holding Tension With Care

Holding Tension With Care

After watching the newly released documentary “M for Malaysia”, the writer reflects on her experience of her country’s development in the last 16 months, since General Election 2018. Even as the new government is still learning to work together, the leadership of this country has shown what’s possible in a seemingly impossible situation… that is, to hold tension with care.

内在小孩与防卫系统:两者之间的关联

内在小孩与防卫系统:两者之间的关联

   “内在小孩”以及“防卫系统”是两门很玄的课题,因为即看不到也摸不着。即便有一些传统心理学理论(如弗洛伊德的心理分析,或伯恩的人际沟通分析学)的支撑,但缺乏科学研究的论证。比起现代主流心理学(如认知行为学)比较具体的理论,内在小孩及防卫系统更倾向于描述抽象的潜意识经验以及过程。因此,笔者尝试以本身的经历与读者们探讨所谓的“内在小孩”与“防卫系统”,以及它倆之间的关联。愿与读者们在自我认识、成长的旅程中共勉之。

The Use of Relational Silence

The Use of Relational Silence

Relational silence is a very active process of communication. It involves implicit understanding and explicit action between two (or more) parties on what can and cannot be talked about. Usually, what can be talked about is not so important. What is hard to talk or cannot be talked about is probably more important.

Fear of Losing and Hurting

Fear of Losing and Hurting

When we are conflict avoidant, we fear losing the relationship or hurting the person we care about. But when emotional distress cannot be outwardly expressed, it can become trapped inside the body and manifest as psychosomatic symptoms. Truth is, until and unless we feel secure enough in our relationship, it’s really much easier to focus on the physical pain and illness, than to sit and talk about what’s not working in the relationship and what you and I need from each other.

Moving Backward to Move Forward

Moving Backward to Move Forward

“Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward.” ~ Soren Kierkegaard
When we are afraid of our future, let us RE-MEMBER our own history: what brought you to where you are today? Can you TRUST the Goodness of Life to take you safely through the next phase in your life, and come out a better version of yourself?